Everybody hurts. Everyone is lonely. It’s a universal truth that we often times lose sight of. We are gods of our own universe, so to speak, the “main characters” in our life’s story. This gives us what you might call a self-absorbed perspective of life.
Because you as an individual feel lonely, you assume that everyone else must be doing great! Only you are suffering, only you are in lonesome town; only you are crooning “Are you lonesome tonight?” However, the first realization that you have—that, simply put, everyone you know is probably lonely—will be a great one and highly beneficial to turning over a new leaf.
As soon as you realize that everyone is lonely you will soon uncover a bigger piece of the puzzle. Everyone is lonely because they don’t have the kind of relationship they want. Rather than working hard to find that specific relationship that completes them, these lonely people are simply stewing and throwing a bit of a pity party.
Rest assured, unless you are stranded on a desert island and have been forced to befriend a volleyball, you are probably not lonely from a lack of people in your life. There are people all around you and many potential friendships that could develop from a simple conversation.
Of course, most people aren’t lonely because they scarcely talk to other people—they are lonely because they can’t find the right kind of relationship they want. Therefore, it will help tremendously to figure out what kind of relationship you are lacking and why this is contributing to your overall feeling of loneliness. For example, some people might feel lonely because they don’t have a spouse, while others may feel lonely because their spouse doesn’t understand or complete them. Others may feel lonely because they don’t have friends their own age, or with similar values.
So it’s wise to count up the assets you do have (as in friends you appreciate) and then striving to be more active with them. Always try to hang around friends that make you feel good about yourself. Avoid spending a lot of time with time wasters, pessimists or critical pseudo-friends.
Last but not least, try to think about other people who are lonely rather than focusing on your own pain. This serves two purposes: it not only stops you from dwelling on negativity, but it can also give you the great feeling of philanthropy—the giving of yourself (your time, your resources, your knowledge) to others who are in need.
Being lonely is a lifestyle choice. If you are feeling blue as of late, then make it a point to reach out to your community and do away with these negative feelings!