Friends come and go throughout our lives. Some people we stay friends with for a lifetime… and yet others we simply drift apart from and (almost) forget. What happens this when the present meets the past? Just how does one begin catching up with friends 20 or 30 years later?
Sometimes an opportunity arises to catch up with old friends. A high school reunion or other big event is a great way to see some familiar faces of the past. You can also ask friends of friends who may know the person you are wondering about, as they may have a way for you to get in touch with them. You could even try simply looking them up in the phonebook. Thanks to the Internet, getting in touch with long lost friends is easier than ever. A search with a name and general area where they lived can often return some amazing results. The social media website Facebook is also playing a major role these days for reconnecting friends. Be sure you enable the search feature on your profile too so that old friends looking for you can find you.
If you are searching for an old friend, try to keep things light and casual at the start. Coming on too strong or invitations that are too “fast” can definitely scare people off, and you both could miss out on rekindling the friendship or at least reliving old times. Start by telling them how you knew them and giving them details to jog their memories. Don’t be upset if they don’t remember you right away, 20 or 30 years is a long time!
Conversations usually flow easily at the start. You can talk about the good old days, your favorite memories with them, and old friends. Then you can talk about your life and ask about theirs. Who they ended up marrying, if they have kids, where they work. There is a lot of stuff to learn, as plenty is sure to have happened during such a long time span.
Over time, you may want to get together more often as nothing starts up a friendship again like new activities and memories. Try to relax and the conversation will flow naturally. Do accept that a lot of time has passed and the person as you remember them may not be the person before you now. Get to know them again, or just enjoy the reminiscing and go your own separate ways again. Whatever you do, don’t pick a fight! Thirty years of wear isn’t going to help your takedown strategy!
Reaching out and catching up with old friends from 20 or 30 years ago can be a fun experience. It is like having another set of eyes to see through, a whole new perspective that may remember stories long forgotten, but much enjoyed from your younger days.